Between stimulus and response, there is a space.

In that space lie our freedom and power to choose our response.

In our response lies our growth and freedom.

- Victor Frankl

Once I got an opportunity to meet an extremely intelligent athlete. Understanding the coach's instructions and doing exactly what is told was far easier for him than others. I curiously asked the coach, “This athlete is bright. How does he perform?” With a little concern, the coach shared his struggle to deal with mistakes, to overcome failures and so on. He concluded that “being intelligent and doing things correctly is not enough, he can't win if he can’t manage his own emotions.”

Many tend to believe that the ability to manage emotions or what we call ‘emotional intelligence’ or ‘EI’ is something innate. However, it is a skill that you can work on and develop!  Emotional intelligence is one of the most important ingredients to a happy life and a successful career and you must not underestimate its power. To be able to develop emotional intelligence it is important to understand what it is and what role it plays in sports performance. And that's what we are going to discuss today.

According to Mayer and Salovey, Emotional intelligence is an ability to perceive one’s own and others’ emotions, to discriminate among them and to use that information to guide one’s thinking and action. Daniel Goleman, an American Psychologist, tried to simplify it further by giving 5 components of EI which we can call the 5 Pillars of Emotional intelligence.

To understand this, let's take an example of an athlete who felt, “everything was set, I was all geared up, but I don't know what happened, I kept making mistakes and lost. I just couldn't control my game”. What do you think happened to the athlete?

Firstly, it was natural for the athlete to feel puzzled when things started to fall apart suddenly. Being aware of what he is feeling could have saved him from later misery. This self-awareness is the first pillar of emotional intelligence. A self-aware athlete is the one who knows what he is feeling, what triggers those feelings and his emotional reactions to them.

Awareness is soon followed by change. When you become aware of your emotion you can choose to respond in a way that helps you to get back in the game. This is self-regulation, the 2nd pillar of EI, an ability to control emotions and express them appropriately. But in the above scenario he never got an opportunity to regulate his emotions as he failed to identify them first.

Being agitated and impatient led to making more errors. With the self-doubt creeping in he lost the motivation to play. Self-motivation is the third pillar of EI. Motivation energizes you and directs you to act. Being self-motivated is about being driven to complete your tasks or achieve your goals. A self-motivated athlete is driven to learn and grow. Such athletes are less likely to give up when faced with challenges.

The last two pillars are the ones which make human life more valuable. They make sporting experience more pleasant and enhance the spirit of sportsmanship. Those are empathy and social skills.  Empathy is an ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes. It is about being able to understand the situation from the other's perspective. Your ability to correctly recognize others’ emotions can guide you to speak or act appropriately. Developing good social skills can help you communicate confidently and clearly with your coach, parents or others.

Being emotionally intelligent will give you the strength to control impulses, respond appropriately in situations and maintain healthy relationships. In reality, developing emotional intelligence can enhance your ability to become a champion not only in your sport but also your life.

Remember, working on your emotions along the 5 pillars of EI is as important as practicing your technical skills. So, listen to your emotions so that they listen to you!